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It's meant to really rain today. [07 May 2016|08:51pm]

Things that make me think of you includes storms. 

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[28 Apr 2016|08:16pm]

I am cognative disonance.

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Rebuild [06 Apr 2016|09:07pm]

  Your  a devil and I know well,  and worse one that Knows me well.
I asked  you once so i know you  feel you can about  half read me well, but for someone opaque like me it is disarming. I feel like an open book.

  I plug along at the project that was meant to be ours. Something We could do until there was work to be done, then it became mine.  But still i am working on that vision Your a tiny devil in  the details, a nagging sadness in  the cracks, a whisper between  the words but part of the hope somehow.

   That Japanese thing, Kintsugi. Quite fitting for a potter really.  I look at the chimney pot on  Which you used to sit.  I sware when  it smashed it took our friendship to its final peices. I recently  started  to try and make something from it and our situation  warmed. It feels like if mend it build it into a planter or something we may also transform.  I look at it and ignore it,  try and Squash down that feeling  move past it.  Im  not sure i want more old even transformed old.
  I love you and i am sure you love me too but maybe our broken pieces pack down  only to have something new grow in this space.
   I will be new,  wiser,  smarter more knowledgable of myself because of you but maybe not knowing you.

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[20 Feb 2016|07:53pm]

I wonder if im doomed to love you forever.
I half hope so.

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[12 Jan 2016|12:45am]

The space between us feels sticky, thicker. Like part of me is stuck to the back of your jumper, like a stain.

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What do I want from you? [13 Dec 2015|01:50am]

I havnt a clue.

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That was wierd [12 Dec 2015|10:21pm]

And now i feel all sad. I cant put my finger on any what or whys. Im sorry i did it, cause i was feeling really good about it all.
Oh well, think im gonna go to bed though.

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[25 Nov 2015|11:48pm]

I am taking note today is the day i phoned. Even though im not allowed to.

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wow [20 Nov 2015|10:35pm]
I still miss you.
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[04 Oct 2015|06:31pm]

I grew up transatanticly and in uk and ireland butter and its better, in my experence always.

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i am done. for the record I di wish i wasn't. [18 Apr 2015|11:17pm]
You know what it was?
It felt like a gesture. I can't remember the fight we had tge day before you bought the railcard but you put my name on without my birth date. You had phoned to cheack but thought I was ignoring you. I had been polishing my vacuum cleaner.
It felt like a peace offering, every time I used it I thought of you.
I thought positive things, I thought how tough the last year was but it reminded me I was loved, it made sooo much of the money non sense disappear.
I know it bothered you, and it bothered me so much less. I kept asking to leave it and you kept insisting, but at the same time acting more and more different claiming it was me, it was you feeling bad. I missed you and it hurt that you couldn't take my word and be at ease.
You attacked me more and more frequently, claiming it was me when I retaliated.
So each time I used the rail card I felt a stab of love and it kept me trying, trying to make it okay.
I went to Scotland twice, Liverpool 3 times, Leeds 2 and brought friends with me, one time buying tickets for a stranger on one occasion, and a few trips to levensume and Moseley each time I mentally thanked you. Reassured that even though we where at a point where we couldn't be in the same room that I could still love you, and the important things where right.
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Not sure what is wrong [10 Jan 2015|04:53am]

But been up at 4/5 for 3 days strait.

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via report [10 Feb 2014|11:44pm]
Character Strength # 1
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

Character Strength # 2
Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Character Strength # 3
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.

Character Strength # 4
Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Character Strength # 5
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

Character Strength #6

You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.

Character Strength #7

You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

Character Strength #8

You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Character Strength #9

You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.

Character Strength #10

You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

Character Strength #11

You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Character Strength #12

Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Character Strength #13

Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

Character Strength #14

You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.

Character Strength #15

Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

Character Strength #16

You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.

Character Strength #17

You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.

Character Strength #18

You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

Character Strength #19

Social intelligence
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

Character Strength #20

You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.

Character Strength #21

Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.

Character Strength #22

You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.

Character Strength #23

You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.

Character Strength #24

You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.
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gabrielle aplin [29 Oct 2013|10:40am]
Summer comes, winter fades
Here we are just the same
Don't need pressure, don't need change
Let's not give the game away

There used to be an empty space
A photograph without a face
But with your presence, and your grace
Everything falls into place

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

Heavy words are hard to take
Under pressure precious things can break
And how we feel is hard to fake
So let's not give the game away

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

And fools rush in
And I've been the fool before
This time I'm gonna slow it down
'Cause I think this could be more
The thing I'm looking for

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

Please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
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Day Three: where is my son? [06 Sep 2013|09:59pm]
Day two was easy to deal with where is my husband? well i never had one, but Rueben’s father is totally uninvolved, I had fantasies of wood working classes and images of the boy helping out on the farm where he works.

But I have always known we would be here, a place where he is not, and I’m pleased when I read the question
"what changes need to be made in your home to let him now my first priority is to be his helper?"

So on to day 3 where is my son?

he’s playing computer games with Joana a spanish girl who is trying to teach him spanish, something he’s dead against. he does love joana though so its not a total disaster, and i’m hopeful that if i persist he will at the very least be able to pass an spanish g.c.s.e. if and when the time comes.

I made the decision to home educate 9 years before I became a parent, but when I met my son, the person he actually is: unable to sit down, incredibly counter suggestive and someone who will like working with his hands. I was certain I’d made the right choice for him. he’s bright and if I compare his knowledge to the key skills he is meant to have at the end of his reception class i’m reassured of his brilliance. (and also my decision, why would I send him to a place where they don’t plan to teach him anything he doesn’t already know?)

I’m getting off my point how is Rueben? Who is is person forming into? Who do i hope he will become?

In the book i’m reading from she mentions a scene from “little men” where jo is showing a new boy a book where she writes about each child’s behavior which she refers to it as the conscience book. A neat idea which I think I may be borrowing in some way.

I do not trust the government to empty by bins correctly why would I entrust them to train my child in the correct way to behave.

I don’t think i’m under any illusions, my son is a boy with a temper who can be absolutely immovable and his own worst enemy. he’s currently on day 3 of a 7 day t.v. ban for shouting and hitting. Ever since he was tiny anger would get the better of him esp when he was tired or hungry and although he was ashamed by his actions he still can not control them.

I think some kind of diary of his outbursts, and kindnesses might help him. To be acknowledged when he does control his temper might help him feel proud, and more in control.

Like jo we could have weekly reviews where we talk about what is happening for him.

I asked Rueben what he would like to learn this year. We were on route to the sainsburys local on his new pedal bike. His reply was that he would like to learn to balance his new bike like his balance bike (I left it on the bus a few weeks ago) and learn how to stop going into the road. with further prodding he said he’d like to learn about dinosaurs, and how cars worked and engines. He also said he would like to be a race car driver, I’m not sure what you do to prepare for such a job but I guess we can try (he has a hard head)

So the next stage now is for him to find his feet in the home education lark, as I am finding mine. He needs friends and projects to do. I guess we just need to talk a lot and together we’ll figure it out.
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Day one: where am I? [05 Sep 2013|11:31pm]
I bought a book for my kindle is called "Back to Home school" is written by an american woman who has homeschooled her 8 children. It was described as a planner which was in 23 days help me organize my year and give me the best homeschooling year yet.

Given I downloaded it the week before we started its not really preparation for this stage, but it is proving very useful to organize my thoughts and a woman who has done what i'm doing 8 times over has some good advice.

like a lot of american homeschoolers she is very religious which makes it even easier to read i can skip over huge bible quotes with ease.

i'm hoping to work through the whole thing, thinking that if I really do contemplate the 23 days I will have gained some insight into myself and our progress.

The first chapter asks me where am I? I'm I stressed? How is my relationship with the lord? Am I rested?

Well no, i'm woken every day earlier than my body would of liked, mostly by Rueben but by what ever else on any day he does decide to lie in.

i'm put an app on my phone which is meant to track my movement and sound and wake me at a point in my sleep cycle which will best suit.

i'm considering going to bed earlier, shifting my Rueben free time from now into morning. 7:30 scares me, but a hopefully I will be more alert and it would be nice to have sometime to drink coffee on my own and printout last minute things.

One of the questions the book posed was whether there was an educational philosophy that wasn't working for us? I initially brushed it aside I realized yes.

it is law in britain that every child be able to read by 5 i have so many problems with this but firstly how on earth do you enforce something so stupid? jails for illiterate youths? sentences to reading boot camps increasing in length and brutality as the offenders get older? Maybe you could further fill real prisons with illiterate parents, or for crimes against literacy. no books in the house? six months. (while trying to fact check just now discovered a 2011 study concluded 4m children in UK do not own a single book)

people like this exist, i'm shocked I remember reading once that the average home in britain had two books. my first real boyfriend family was like this one crossword dictionary and a spike milligan book.

The government has a program called Bookstart, i became aware of it a year or two before Rueben was born, i remember applying for one of the jobs and thinking of the statistic about the two books. its seemed to me the act of giving out a bag with 3 books is an attempt to more than double the amount of books in the country or at least the home of sexually irresponsible people.

i love books. nearly two christmases ago my lodger gave me a kindle. He was genuinely confused when i would bring home bags of books from swaps,charity shops and library discards. " why have you bought books, you can download them" he complained I think he was a bit offended.

About a year after I started to use it, its great for traveling and those huge important books I know i'm never going to read. Alex haley's roots war and peace they aren't sat around gathering dust, but they are there just in case on day I do decide to buckle down and read them, is also good when you read favorable reviews about a christian home ed planner and you get curious.

I have shelves lined with books in my bedroom, the living room rueben's book case is overflowing and he can't even read yet.

i'm getting of the point so the second reason this rule is ludacris is many many studies show most children just are not ready before 6 (and i'm sure many mature even slower) the processes children who are reading earlier are using are not the same ones even they will be using in a few years for the same tasks.

I had decided i was not going to do letters and such till 6.His fine motor skills would be more howned too the whole teaching reading and writing things would be easier and easier for him to learn. and this is where the books question becomes relevant where i had decided to not do it, I hadn't decided what to say when he asked me what a wooden R was.

"Its a Rueben R" I said. Soon my book loving son, living in a book filled house had learned all his letters one question at a time. ooops I hadn't meant to do that, but it happened and soon I realized this wasn't going to be the end of the questions.. The first work he learned to "read" was the word stop learned off the button on bus. I realized by lack of a plan had left me in a bit of an educational cul-de-sac and had to go bac and do them again phonetically.

So here we are in our first real week of home education and my goal to convince Rueben he can read.(he totally can) it goes against so much of my ideology but I have to admit he's ready he wants to get it. If i'm being honest it would be great if he could read to himself, he'd be read to all day given the choice.

one of my life goals is to take a shipping boat to america, due to insurance he has to be 5. I used to joke that he'd have to be able or read by 5 how else would we fill the 9 days at sea? but now it seems it may come to pass.
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Why I chose Home education, and how its going so far. [17 Aug 2013|10:26pm]
i grew up in massachusetts, on the island of martha's vineyard. i was fortunate to receive a very liberal education in the hippest of the islands 5 towns. 3 of the towns fed into our school at the time and there still wasn't enough kids to fill a classroom some years, then they would smoosh years together.
property taxes in the summer resort meant I have never seen other schools so well equipt.

Both my parents are teachers, my father was actually my science teacher for the whole of junior high, we did have one big row during the first year in which i launched a book at his head(quite a poor shot normally) but on the whole it was quite successfully. They both teach is mildly unorthodox ways and have both had to fight their corner and have instilled a real belief that schools are wrong. though i believe my father believes this more heartily (my mum was quite academically successful and finds in hard to see things from others point of view.) but on the whole are very supportive of my decision to home educate.(not that they can stop me esp all the way from massachusetts)

i'm getting off point, i moved to england when I was 16 I was in constant trouble never quite understanding what the problem was. it wasn't
untill after doing my foundation 6 years and several schools later, during the lecture my art history teacher told me to stop asking questions else we wouldn't get through the lectures on time.

It dawned on me this had been the problem all along, i had not realized engaging in my education had marked me out as disruptive. there are other huge reasons the school system here is failing, which seems to be something everyone agrees on, but doesn't quite know how to fix.

Central government decided a few weeks ago that every child must understand fractions in kindergarten, which though not impossible doesn't address the real issue which is if everyone is to bored to pay attention then it doesn't really matter what your teaching.

I also do not like uniform, not mandatory till 11 but worn by all from 4. They claim is to prevent teasing, but i feel it in fact teaches the idea there is a right way to dress and be and as the opposite effect.

The national curriculum the standardisation of what is being taught in classrooms across the land, irregardless of where your class is developmentally was introduced in 1988 and standardized testing for 7 year olds in in 1991. for the life of me don't know what standardized testing can prove other than a lack of individual thought.

I think that nealry two pages leading up to my point that I am so certain of my choice, yes i do think about sending Rueben to public school, the view form the front gate is a school I often think I could conduct Rueben across the rd while still in my bed, maybe having to lean out the window.

I had hoped to flexi-school Rueben where he could go infor gym, art and such but the government changed the rules around it and it is no longer doable at least not in the same way.

Rueben will be starting a wood school in november. we went to an open day the other week and we're both so excited. Its a great space a rural studies centre with a wood and a tropical green house. its only one day a week but gives Rueben the opportunity to to socialise without me and and me a chance to be without him if only for a few hours.

We visit libaryies a lot Rueben loves books and with very little effort on my part he is almos reading. It makes me feel justified in my child led approach. I wasn't going to start letters and such till he was 6, but he asked and asked and soon knew them all by name.

i realized I messed up and now needed to teach the sounds. I found a video from leap frong that used both the name and the sound and it did the trick. We do some letter work with shaving foam on the side of the bath and stuff, but i try not to take it too seriously cause when do I get stressed an then he does to and the learning stops.

I was able to read from 3, and love books too. I realized a bit ago I was passing on my preference and that although he knew his numbers his numeracy was much lower. i liked that he didn't understand money, but he can't stay that way forever.
So we started doing dairy math problem from "bedtime math" and i've made more of an effort to talk about numbers and money. bus numbers( i don't drive) help too. We where talking about buses the other day and he said "oh its the three- tee three and I realized he'd learned it on his own though he has yet to truly understand the concept of 1's ten's and hundreds.

i have a lot of stuff for "starting school in the fall" cuisenaire rods, magic school bus science kits and a desk we got off free cycle. i'm thinking we'll do a bit in morning and go to meets ups and museums in the afternoon.

I recently got in touch with 3 local homed mums in my area and am really excited about the boy being able to hang out with kids locally we spend so much time on buses.
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the letter I sent in the end. [29 Jul 2013|10:59pm]
When I chose for you to look after Rueben two years ago. I was excited that my son would be exposed to different ideas, skills and experience, optimistic that he may learn about alternative viewpoints rather than simply mine, perhaps making for a more rounded start to Rueben's education.

Although we choose to parent differently, I never felt had the right to comment or criticize, but i feel this courtesy has not been extended to me. I almost didn't say anything as he will be leaving your care in only a few weeks.

I feel there has been some kind of confusion about the boundaries here. I am not looking to be scolded for allowing Rueben to choose to wear fuzzy trousers, or nail polish. I do not wish for Rueben to feel shame about things he enjoys.

I'm proud of the man my son is shaping into, I'm proud of the fact that at 4 he will ride a purple bike with pink wheels with pride. He is meant to be at the height of gender conformity at this age. I have worked hard to keep him so innocent.

I have no desire to raise my son to bow his head and get on without any personality, if he chooses to conform of his own free will that is his business. I do not feel it is my job to raise my child to be scared and shameful. I would hate it if he started hiding his desires, and died wishing he wore more fuzzy pants when he was a younger man.

He is my son, they are my rules and standards. If that is "more than you can bare" the then I guess We will have to part ways as I'm just not comfortable with such attitudes around my son.

I hope you understand my concerns and that this will not be a problem in future.

Thanks Roisin
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comedy? [08 Jun 2013|11:21am]
i'm an artist, i'm the one who made this piece, in case you've not looked at it that's serotonin and dopeimine technically these are the only things you enjoy. This is what nearly everyone is looking for a way to guarantee happiness, a prescription for it even. Since making this I've leaned a fair bit about how these two chemicals work in our bodies.

dopamin , its part of the process of falling in love, is what keeps addicts addicted, yearning for that high, and helps people concentrate so too little is linked to Attention deficit disorder but too much oddly seems related to schizophrenia.

Serotonin, removes anxiety and is more about keeping balance rather than the highs of dopamine. It has several roles, controls craving for carbohydrates and actually helps with growth of certain cells in humans, mostly in our heart.

one thing I finally remembered to Google, serotonin re-uptake inhibitors? What sense does that make? surely if you don't have enough of something what good would it be to stop absorbing it? Well it turns out its like this 90% of the bodies serotonin is in the bowel its main role in the body? To help you poo.

So the tablets stop your body absorbing your own serotonin into your bowel which allows more of it to be floating about your brain. so your serotonin uptake inhibitors though being heralded as the cure for depression in the 90's end up being further proof of the old adage that only you can make yourself happy.

Infact both of these CHEMICALS can not cross the blood brain barrier, so an injections of these two chemicals have unexpected effects. dopamine is used to restart your heart, and an injection of serotonin will actually cause pain, in fact its in wasp stings for this reason.

now i'm no expert, i'm just a gob shite with a love of medical matters. i'm not even a person who has really had to battle depression.

I grew up on an island called martha's vineyard, you may of heard of it Obama holidays there. people call it a playground for the rich and famous. We islanders, people who are brave or stupid enough to stick round for the winter call it a floating mental hospital.

The manic summers give way to a bleak winter where nearly everyone is self medicating. When i was about 12 a friend of my parents built a bowling alley sure that what the island needed was a meeting place with a wholesome activity on offer.
it didn't really work out as it turned out they would really rather sit and home and moan. I think it taught be lot of about how depression works, and even more importantly how to make myself happy, i discharged myself in 1996. however i do still return for holidays.

Last year the prime minister tried to measure the nations happiness, with a tick box form. the results are cheery 75% of the population are at least medium happy in their lives. i got curious how did this compare to other countries, i did find one survey of Americans done earlier this year stating sadly that only one 3rd of the population reported feeling very happy.

one big difference I've noticed in the two places is Americans don't seem to believe there meant to be sad and the Brits don't seem to think that they should be happy. America is Prozac nation and here we all keep clam and carrying on. I think this counts of evidence of what i'm saying, america is lamenting not all being jubullent whilst in England we are just glad most of the population doesn't feel too bad.

I do think that essentially the same problems that are making us sad probably world over.

apparently 80% of the British population feel medium to high that what they are doing is worthwhile. now i have to admit this is not what i'see on a day to day basis, but maybe i 'm just moving in the wrong circles.
If you look at this chart, people are rating there happiness most people working are 10% less happy than the ones who aren't, or those who have let to realize that yeah this is what they are doing with there lives.

Now i'm no better, I do vigorously try and avoid doing anything i don't enjoy, though money would be nice i learned years ago that being paid for things makes me enjoy them less, it somehow sullies the experience. i'm not getting paid to be here now, i'd bet real money that if i was you would laugh less, that is if i'd agreed to do it at all.

I recently bought a kiln, with the intention of making pottery into some kind of day job. its been a saga so far involving 2 kilns,2 Tibetans, 2 local lads one polish boy and some scrappers, and its not over yet. It still needs wiring in and the huge quantity of electric it will use paid for. All the while i love that thing, it almost embodies my freedom but i'm scared that once its all in place i'll go off it once it becomes about money. It would seem the best case scenario would be me only going off it ten percent.

I see a lot of people who claim they will be happy once they get a girlfriend,that new job a bigger house or loose 20 pounds. and they never seem to notice that there happiness never changes and the car didn't fix nothing and the girlfriend actually seemed from the outside to make them miserable, though not as badly as her leaving did.

I would argue that non of these things can be a passion, if these people found something they needed to do the car they drove there wouldn't matter, they might even not mind taking the bus.

One thing I truly believe is that in order to be truly happy you have to allow your self to be sad. I have found a recovery from a period of sadness teaches you a lot about why you where sad and how to prevent it happening again but more importantly what makes you happy. I see a lot of people dulling the sad with booze drugs, s.s.r.is . It ain't fun, and i don't advice wallowing but i think its best to face it head on, feel it cry and nash teeth then figure out what the lessons are on offer. Avoiding it whatever method you use it will go on and on and catch you out no matter where you run.

Think often the goal is not happiness for people, without realizing it they create a state of unsad, which i guess could seem preferable but is nowhere near the same thing as happy.

i think society places quite a lot of value on this unsad state, i don't even mean we are encouraged to consume lashing out for cars and clothes in hopes of filling some emotional void, though we are. I just mean it where we are most comfortable. At a point in my life i was most happy i was spending almost all my time painting, i'd meet friends and have nothing to say, nothing to complain about. I discovered the answer to "how are you" is no more "really, really happy" than it is "fucking depressed"

The response i'd get was a look of deep suspicion and a slightly insincere "that's great" i guess i'm lucky it didn't last long.
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[07 Jun 2013|11:24pm]
i'm an artist, i'm the one who made this piece, in case you've not looked at it that's serotonin and dopeimine technically these are the only things you enjoy. Since making this i've leaned a fair bit about how these two chemicals work in our bodies.

dopamine , is what keeps addicts addicted yearning for that high, its part of the process of falling in love, and helps people concentrate but too much is linked schizophrenia.

Serotonin , it removes anxiety and is more about keeping balance rather than the highs of dopamine. It has several roles, controls craving for carbohydrates and actually helps with growth of certain cells in humans, mostly in our heart.

one thing I finally remembered to Google, serotonin re-uptake inhibitors? What sense does that make? surely if you don't have enough of something what good would it be to stop absorbing it? Well it turns out its like this 90% of the bodies serotonin is in the bowel its main role in the body? To help you poo.

So the tablets stop your body absorbing the serotonin into your bowel which allows more of it to be floating about your brain. so your s.s.r.i. though being heralded as the cure for depression in the 90's in fact end up being futher proof of the old addage that only you can make yourself happy. In fact both of these cemica
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